Romance is the foundation of love. It is the stage when a couple feel a connection and begin to explore it. Superficially it seems to be all about flowers, chocolate, wine and beautiful words. It is actually much deeper and can be expressed without any presents or words, with just the meeting of the eyes and the telepathic exchange of desire. As per a BBC Radio 5 survey, 45% respondents said stress was the biggest contributor to the couple’s bedroom issues. We live in an “always-on” world, where work is gobbling up more and more of our time. And the effects are showing up between the sheets.
Farvi Motiwale Wadhwa speaks to industry experts on what do they suggest to the young and super-busy couples on what are some tried and tested ways that we all know, but need to apply it in our day to day life to re-kindle romance and sex in our super busy scheduled lives.
Speaking about facts, “At Misters.in, more than 100,000 men reach out to us every month, in search of solutions that help a man build confidence. The always-on work culture is leading to always-on stress, which then effects tender moments for couples.” So how can couples bring back the spark in their relationship amid all this stress? Try the following steps says Gaurav Gupta, Co-founder, Misters.in
Make your love zone a no-smartphone zone.
The constant notifications stream and the blue light bursts keep you on the edge, which is bad news for a romantic time together. The fear of missing out on twitter or netflix plays havoc with your love life. When there is no phone to look at, your partner gets more attention, which can lead to an exciting exploration of each other’s bodies.
Do not rush things.
Talking with your special partner builds the right mood and helps you leave behind stress. No, this is not about world or office politics, or someone’s humblebrag on facebook. This is about talking to each other, about each other. Talk about the times when you indulged in a furtive kiss and no one got to know. Bring back memories that both of you cherish. Do not rush things and spend time talking and cuddling. Soon, stress will be the last thing on both your minds.
Create a ‘stress-reducing ritual’ that both of you can participate in.
In most cases, simple day to day activities can become ‘stress-reducing rituals’. The key thing here in building such a ritual is that both of you should be involved in the ritual. How about taking a shower together? Or listening to soothing music? Or even reading a book together? 50 Shades of Grey, anyone? By making these regular activities a ritual, you are blocking out the outside world for the duration of the ritual. All your attention is on your partner which, needless to say, makes for exciting times. It is a time-tested dictum that best sex culminated in bed always starts outside the bedroom, so, Dr. Vidya Pancholia, Masters in Aesthetic Gynaecology and Super Speciality in Gynaecological Laser. V-Care Laser Clinic, Indore also shares some tips for stress-full couples who are very busy and they just avoid to have sex:
Personal grooming is equally important, look good and dress up properly at home. Try to avoid shabby and lose clothes as soon as you enter in your house. This is very important because gender attraction always works well.
Time of sex, it is commonly observed that both the partners are working very hard, early in the morning to late night and are usually fatigued, so just try to change the time of sex, it may be very early in the morning before or after exercise that sometimes works very well.
Sex doesn’t need to be quicker, it should have a mix of foreplay, talking about sex, cracking some jokes related to sex is equally important. Simply penetration and ejaculation within 5 minutes or so sometimes hurts female also. So, try to be active, it doesn’t mean that good sex will always end faster. For females, a passive behavior in bed sometimes is ok but not all the time it is sometimes intolerable for men also.